Ryan Solomon

My one night stand with a $3.99 pair of flip-flops

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 04:41:33 GMT

So two days ago I decided it would be a good idea to face the unbearable east coast heat and humidity and take a walk to the bank. About half way there, I decided it would be a good idea to take a rest when I saw the "Natural Shoe Store". Basically what they mean by "Natural Shoe Store" is that they have a few "natural" hiking type shoes, and a lot of regular non-natural shoes. Whatever. I remembered that I needed flip-flops, and figured buying some would be a good excuse to stand in an air conditioned building.

If they would have had $15 flip-flops, I would have bought them no questions asked, and there wouldn't have been a problem. But the $20 pairs they had were definitely pushing a bit too far on my tight budget. I was about to give in and drop the $20 when I saw a pair of $3.99 flip flops by the register. They were in a kids size, rainbow colored, and looked like they deserved to be $3.99. Which was an immediate turn on. I asked if they had any in my size, and to my surprise they did. Except instead of being rainbow colored, they sported a pathetic brown-tan-trying-to-look-like-not-$3.99-flip-flop design. The rainbow was so essential to the whole "dude they were $3.99" mentality, but I figured I should still stick with them. I put them on, and they felt terrible, but maybe I'm just not used to wearing flip-flops? You can't really go wrong with $3.99 flip-flops right?

So I bought them. And when I got home I decided to wear them around so I could feel like I'm barefoot, without getting black dirt crap all over my feet because our house is filthy. It was then that I noticed that the left flip-flop held my foot much tighter than the right flip-flop. But you can't really go wrong with $3.99 flip-flops right? I thought so until later that night. Our destination was almost too far to comfortably walk, but too short to justify spending money on the trolley, and we were already drunk, so of course we walked. It was then that I noticed the terrible pain on my foot from the coarse toe-strap. Each step I could feel my foot getting worse and worse of a rash. It was literally like a rope burn on the top of my foot. It got so bad that I had to loosen my foot from the strap and sort of hop to avoid the friction. Can you go wrong with $3.99 flip-flops?

The answer was yes. But only after Kemp came to pick us up, and we realized that I'd stepped in dog shit. Even with the rash, and everyone screaming at me to throw them out of the window, I still felt reluctant to give up on them. But I eventually became honest with myself, realized my mistake and poor judgement, and threw the flip-flops out the car window. Never saw them again.

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 04:16:08 GMT

After working at Qdoba for nearly 5 1/2 months, I made (BEFORE taxes) one third as much as they pull in in one day!!!!

<3333capitalism<3333

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 04:46:49 GMT

Annoying people at Qdoba:

What kind of salsa would you like on that?
"Yes"

What kind of salsa would you like on that?
"Regular"

What kind of salsa would you like on that?
"That one" (points ambiguosly)

What kind of salsa would you like on that?
"Can I try all five of them?" (this one is actually worth it just to see them choke when they drink the fiery habernero (EXTRA HOT!)

What kind of salsa would you like on that?
"Cheese" (or any other non-salsa)

Sour cream and cheese?
"No" (8 seconds later) "Just cheese"

Sour cream and cheese?
"Yes please" (sounds exactly like 'just cheese')

Sour cream and cheese?
"Just cheese" (sounds exactly like 'yes please')

Anything else on that?
"No" (8 seconds later) "Just lettuce"

Anything else on that?
"Can you grill my burrito so that the cheese inside melts?"
No, we don't melt the cheese we put inside the burritos
"But you grilled hers..."
She ordered a quesadilla. You ordered a burrito. Do you know what a burrito is? -(before they get a chance to respond) Apparently you don't because no one in the history of burritos has ever put one on a quesadilla grill you idiot!!

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 21:14:42 GMT

today i'm the happiest ive been in a long time!

On the selfish nature of liking kids. You don't like kids. You like the idea of them.

Thu, 25 Jan 2007 23:49:15 GMT

kids are great
kids are cute in the way
lots of puppies are
or a store full of stuffed animals

when i hear kids talk about magic
or what they want to be when they grow up
i think of a human with a fully developed brain
saying the same thing
and its precious
im happy, and im happy for them

but then i remember that in 15 years
the kid is going to steal my stereo system
or hate black and gay people

My Top Albums of 2006

Thu, 28 Dec 2006 21:06:12 GMT

I have a few great friends. One in particular I met across the country at a somewhat boring party, just as I was about to become despondent and rule out the possibility of meeting anyone interesting. I think I overheard him say "Animal Collective", and I immediately jumped over a couch to introduce myself to my new friend. After a few minutes of conversation we talked about music and dropped names like there was no tomorrow. Something interesting I noted though, was his distinction between calling something his "favorite" or "best" of the (year, all time, etc). He later explained the importance of the difference between the two. I'm not sure if I necessarily agreed, but I became 'aware' of something I before hadn't given much thought... the idea of 'thinking' about music.

Thinking about music, to me, is just as important as listening to music. Allowing your brain to take precedence over your ears can make music so much more of an enjoyable experiance. And I think being able to apply quantintative value to an art such as music, the criterion for judging lies in a sweet spot between "favorite" and "best". For instance, I think that without a doubt Subtle's album was the "best" of the year. But that doesn't mean that Island's album didn't bring me more joy, or will be subject to more listens. That being said, enough with the rambling, lets see some numbers!!!

1) Subtle - for hero: for fool

If you haven't yet familiarized yourself with the Anticon label, please do yourself a favor and do so immediately. Anticon specializes in smart, experimental, white boy hip hop. 75% of the groups are mediocre, while the other 25% (those sharing a lot of key members) are amazing. Subtle is composed of the label's finest MC and beat master, along with familiar faces on keyboards, guitar, cello, and sax.
This album could be described in one word: ferocious. It leaps out of the gate with the energy of ATDI's "Relationship of Command", and keeps the gas pedal floored through most of the album, while still allowing space for moments of beauty, spaced perfectly through the album. Like ATDI, many elistist fans I've heard from prefer the groups earlier work. But to those not grounded in past, for hero: for fool showcases the groups most cohesive and inviting music to date. Personally, I've never been so obsessed with every morsel of sound on an album. Subtle has honed such a fine craft here, and presents it in such an interesting and unorthadox manner. I cannot stress enough what a good investment it is to spend time with this album.

2) Belle & Sebastian - The Life Pursuit

Belle & Sebastian are among my favorite bands. And I'm not sure if this helped or hindered their ranking on this list. While providing many "my favorite band just released an amazing new album" feelings, I still turn a blind eye to the fact that nothing they do will ever provide life changing nostalgia like their early singles / EPs, or hearing them for the first time on "Dear Catastrophe Waitress". Its a sad curse that plauges them, along with Modest Mouse, Beck, Malkmus, etc forever. But in the end you need to just set it aside and realize... this album is really really good.

3) Islands - Return to the Sea

Gorgeous in layers that unfold with time. Each song is an adventure. Its only flaw is its perhaps greatest attribute: youthful ambition. Plus it has some of my """favorite!!""" drumming of alltime.

4) Fiery Furnaces - Bitter Tea

Quite possibly my top record of the year if 3-4 songs were shaved off. Bitter Tea is a more mature and wise Furnaces, but noticeably weary from its 2 albums a year pace. It showcases some of their best blending of experimental goofiness with pop brilliance, but ultimately Friedberger has too many idea for his own good.

5) I'm From Barcelona - Let Me Introduce My Friends

This album is the equivalent of the most beautiful and intriguing landscape painting you've ever seen at a friend's apartment. Perfectly executed craft, endlessly enjoyable.

6) NAVE! - NAVE02

At first I thought it would be cute to throw my friend Evan in here, who released an album under his moniker earlier in March. But then I realized that NAVE02 was really the 6th most enjoyable album I've come across this year. NAVE! specializes in producer based music that has an absolute sense of space and timing. Listening to this album is like riding an amusement park ride, and the theme is NAVE!'s dense musical influences. And at the end you feel like a better person for making it through.

7) Sunset Rubdown - Shut Up I Am Dreaming

Stadiums and Shrines II @ 0:56.

8) Joanna Newsom - Ys
9) The Flaming Lips - At War With The Mystics
10) Beck - The Information

Poem #1

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 16:52:06 GMT

I used to be sad my parents were pot heads.
Until I realized I've never paid to get high in my life.

Fantastic albums I've been obsessing over (pt. 1)

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 07:27:37 GMT

Department of Eagles - The Whitey on the Moon UK LP

I don't even know how to describe this album. Everything about it is interesting and beautiful. Every song is perfect. This is the kind of album that you'll play to death for a month or two, then throw it on a year or two later and every memory and emotion from those 2 months will return, as vivid as ever. Theres a lot of electronic experimentation as well as diverse instrumentation. The album literally covers everything from straight foward lo-fi indie, Radiohead-guitar-esque segments, lounge, hip-hop, world, electronic, and experimental soundscapes, all while remaining extremely cohesive. You just have to listen.

Homelife - Flying Wonders

If Department of Eagles is impressive for only being the work two people, Homelife is impressive in the sense that so many people we're able to coordinate something so interesting and complex. This group embraces extravegence to the fullest, loading songs full with tons of percussion, strings, and shit that I'd previously never even heard of. The emotional reaction to this album is similar to the above album, which makes sense because both albums were recommended to me by the same guy. Half way through the smooth-beautiful-styled "Too Fast" you'll think... where have you been all my life Homelife? I promise.

John Cale - Paris 1919

Within the first 3 seconds of the opening track, you'll know that John Cale mastered the formula to creating perfect classic rockish greatness. The best thing about this album, besides its absurd listenability, is the influence you can hear in music today. Almost every band I've liked over the past 5 years has taken something from this album. Someone said something like "Not a lot of people bought The Velvet Underground & Nico, but everyone who did started a band." Same thing I guess. The production too is so right time right place. The drums sound so tapey, and the vintage keys are perfect.

Pavement - Wowee Zowee

I don't think anyone likes this album in the way I do, and that makes me sad. Although the first half is much more accessable, the second half has some of the more unique and classic music ever. No other band would have made anything that sounds remotely close to some of the stuff on here, which is one of my favorite things about Pavement as a whole. Hearing songs like "Black Out" live bring so much focus onto the great songwriting on the album. In sumation, Wowee Zowee is the creative peak of my favorite band.

More to come maybe!

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 07:25:01 GMT

Hi! This journal is public and features writing by me.